Welcome back to the Path to Serenity blog.
If you have opened Instagram in the last five years, you have been bombarded with the Gospel of Self Care.
You know the drill:
- “Feeling sad? Drink a green smoothie!”
- “Anxious? Just breathe into a paper bag and think about a waterfall!”
- “Existential dread? Have you tried a sheet mask?”
Don’t get me wrong. I love a good sheet mask—I own more scented candles than is fire-code compliant. But we need to have a serious chat about the difference between pampering and psychiatric care.
Because if I hear one more person say, “I don’t need Zoloft, I just need to practice mindfulness and drink more water,” I am going to scream into a pillow. (Which is, technically, a form of self-care).
Here is why your “Good Vibes Only” strategy might be failing you.
1. Your Neurotransmitters Do Not Care About Your Kale Salad
Let’s get biological for a second.
If you are dealing with clinical depression, ADHD, or an anxiety disorder, you are dealing with a chemical situation. Your brain is either not producing enough of the happy chemicals, or it’s vacuuming them up too fast.
Trying to fix a serotonin deficiency with a bubble bath is like trying to fix a flat tire with a positive attitude.
- Yoga is great. It helps with cortisol.
- Sunshine is great. It helps with Vitamin D.
- Meditation is great. It helps with focus.
But none of those things are SSRIs. You can do all the Downward Dogs in the world, but if your brain chemistry is off, you’re just going to be a very flexible, very depressed person. At Path to Serenity, we believe in the power of “AND.” You can take your meds AND do yoga. It’s not a competition.
2. "Treating Yourself" vs. "Parenting Yourself"
Pop culture has convinced us that self care looks like a montage from Legally Blonde: manicures, shopping sprees, and chocolates.
That’s not self care. That’s soothing. And soothing is valid! We all need comfort.
But ACTUAL self care is usually boring, unsexy, and sometimes annoying.
- Real Self Care is: Going to bed at 10 PM instead of doom-scrolling until 2 AM.
- Real Self Care is: Setting a boundary with that toxic family member even though your voice shakes.
- Real Self Care is: Taking your medication every single day, even when you “feel fine.”
- Real Self Care is: Making that appointment you’ve been dreading.
Buying a $50 candle is easy. Confronting your trauma and stabilizing your mood is hard. We’re here to help you do the hard thing (so you can actually enjoy the candle later).
3. The "Natural is Better" Fallacy
“I don’t want to put chemicals in my body! I want to be natural!”
I hear you. Trust me, I do. But let’s look at nature. Arsenic is natural. Poison Ivy is natural. Hurricanes are natural.
“Natural” does not always mean “Good for you.”
Depression is “natural”—it’s a natural biological response. Panic attacks are “natural”—that’s just your fight-or-flight response stuck in the “ON” position.
Modern medicine is a miracle. We have developed safe, studied, regulated ways to help your brain function at its best. There is no honor in suffering “naturally” when help is available.
4. Toxic Positivity is a Trap
If you tell a drowning person to “just swim,” you aren’t helping. You’re annoying.
Sometimes, life sucks. Grief can be heavy. Sometimes, your brain is mean to you. Plastering a “Live, Laugh, Love” sticker over a mental health crisis is not a solution.
You don’t need to “manifest” your way out of a panic disorder. There isn’t a need to “vibrate higher” out of a depressive episode. You need a treatment plan, and a provider who understands that toxic positivity is just gaslighting with glitter on it.
The Bottom Line
Keep the candles, the yoga mat, and the expensive water bottle. Those are great tools for a healthy lifestyle.
But if you are doing all the “right” things and you still feel heavy, dark, or overwhelmed, it is not your fault. You’re not failing at self care. You just brought a stick to a sword fight.
Let’s upgrade your arsenal.
At Path to Serenity Mental Health, PLLC, we provide the science so you can enjoy the serenity.
Ready to stop breathing into a paper bag and start feeling better? Let’s talk.
Get the Answers You Need
Every situation is unique. Meet with one of our experts to receive personalized advice and a plan that’s right for you. Schedule your appointment today.
Medical Disclaimer
This article is intended for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Reading this content does not establish a provider-patient relationship with Path to Serenity Mental Health PLLC or its clinicians. Antidepressant medications affect individuals differently, and treatment decisions should always be made in consultation with a licensed healthcare professional after an individualized assessment.
Do not start, stop, or change any medication without speaking with your healthcare provider. If you are experiencing worsening depression, suicidal thoughts, or a mental health emergency, call 911 or contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline immediately.
This article was written by Michelle Millspaw, PMHNP-BC and reviewed using evidence-based sources available at the time of publication. References and external sources are provided for informational purposes only and do not constitute endorsement of third-party content.
